You Can't Force Him to be a Father

When I think of "baby momma" I automatically envision this woman yelling, rolling her neck, and acting a fool... All targeted at the child's father. Now... I may have said at a young age that I would never become a "baby momma." That didn't turn out well, but after becoming a "baby momma" I said, "I will never act like the stereotypical baby momma I'm use to hearing about or watching on television."

I am sad to report, that about a week ago (shout out to Bobby Shmurda) I had one of those moments. This all rooted from him not depositing money in my account as agreed. Unlike some women I actually need and use my child support to support my son. At the time, funds were low and my son needed diapers and formula. I went on a rampage! I called probably 20 times that day, left angry voicemails, angrier texts, and spent my whole day yelling and telling anyone that would listen. Needless to say, he did finally deposit the money, and I wrote off my rage as being passionate about my son and his needs. BULL!! This would have never been a problem if I wasn't upset about him being out of town and more importantly, our relationship not working and me being a single parent.

See... The thing is when you finally accept that the relationship is not working, no matter what, you and your child are going to be okay, and that you can't force him to be a father and do his part... You no longer have the "baby momma" moments.

Unfortunately, when you laid down (unwed), got knocked up, and made the decision to have your little precious angel; you also signed up for the possibility of raising this child on your own. As the old saying goes, "Momma's baby, Daddy's maybe," is fitting even if you take a DNA test and Maury says, "YOU ARE THE FATHER." The reality is, he can walk away and you will be left with all the responsibility. You won't believe the depths some men will go to in order to dodge child support. My father actually worked under another name to avoid it! I can say I am lucky in that my sons father is financially in a place to support him... That's about all. But the truth of the matter is WE, women, were built for "making things happen." Even if I didn't get that money for the diapers and formula, I would've found a way and been ok.

Here's the thing, no matter how loud you yell, how many mean texts and angry voicemails you leave... You cannot force him to be a father. That is something he will have to mature into, and for some that may never happen. After all the yelling, anger, and energy we've used on someone that's not worth it and will not even get it. He'll just write it off as, "she's tripping," "she must be on her cycle." You could've used that same energy and put it into something positive for your child or children, because ultimately that's all that matters.

So the next time you want to "have a baby momma moment." Stop and think, "what am I going to gain from this?" "How am I going to feel about myself after this?" "If my child were in the room or in the car during this drive by I'm about to do, and bear witness to this would they be proud of me?" If the answers are "no, horrible, and heck no." Don't do it! Go put that energy into something productive.

Though unexpected I'm loving being his momma!!